I would like to move into my closet because it is actually quite spacious. I could close the door and no one would even think to look for me in there. Because, really, what 20 year old girl would move into her closet? I would do it. Just for a little while. Maybe until things didn't feel so strange. Or maybe until I became queen of the world and I could make things fall into place just like they do in my head. My head is a very fun place. It is quite perfect and undoubtedly amazing. There is a detailed and colorful mental image flowing through constantly. Plus also, it is the best musical you'd ever see. Really.
So since I can't hide out in my closet, nor can I join the circus, I am trying to be more present in my current state in life. But it's hard, because I don't really want to. This doesn't feel like home and I have the thought creep into my head that I don't need new friends... I already have some at home. But home is a long ways away. However, my friends are pretty great and they hold my heart and keep me connected to them. We could just so easily move on with our lives and forget about one another. But we don't, because we fit. At least I like to think so. In my uber fascinating mind, I was kept living at home last winter and spring because I was supposed to be there and meet some of them and learn and grow with them. Well that thought makes me feel better too because at first I thought I was staying for Melanie and then she up and left. So It's nicer to think that there actually was a reason.
One of my efforts to be more present was to finish the Book of Mormon, I was off to an OK start, then Jared asked if I would read it with him by Christmas. Then we invited Marina and Brian to do it too. Marina and I are a team. The deal is that if someone doesn't finish by Christmas, that team has to buy the lift tickets of the opposing team. So we are all doing it! Which I also think is pretty freaking awesome. Yes Yes.
Now I am a scripture reading fiend. If I stay on track, I am hoping to kick everyone's trash and be done by Thanksgiving. We'll see how that goes.
I feel a little more focused now that I'm in a serious scripture study. It's good. I'm hoping this track will help me come to the understanding of God's special little mission that He has set up for me. I know it's pretty important, so I wanna figure it out pretty soon. That would be good.
OOO So apparently I glow. This only occurs when I am leading music in sacrament meeting. I have been told on many occasion after leading... "You just glow up there" I'm afraid this means that I am pregnant too. Because people say it just the way they'd say it to a prego. At least they don't ask when I'm due. That could be EMBARRASSING. For them that is.