Sunday, December 12, 2010


So thanks to my darling Lexie, I have come to recognize the Tinkerbells in this world and the moments that I have been a Tinkerbell.
Who is she you ask?
Tink is the girl that is stuck in the “friend zone”.
This is a really hard place to be stuck in. Why? Because it is a delusion. All the time you are spending with your Peter Pan, you feel like it is going somewhere, that there is a level of commitment and understanding. He however, is simply viewing you as his best friend. He speaks highly of you to other people and strings you along making you feel special. But you are “just friends”, and that is never going to change; even if you get jealous of the other girls in his life and try to sabotage them. You can start gossip, pull her hair or be mean to her in front of Peter, but he will only get upset with you and make you out to be the bad guy. He is completely innocent in this situation in his eyes. The poor clueless fool can't see beyond your constant companionship and loyalty to your real intentions and your puppy dog love for him.

Tinker Belle is really the best kind of friend even though she has jealousy issues. And oh these are some pretty big issues. Let’s discuss them for a moment. Territorial is one of the best ways to describe a Tink. She cannot stand to see Peter even talk or look at another girl, let alone like her. But all the while she tries to pretend that nothing is wrong and that yes, “we are friends”, “best friends”.
Warnings to Peter’s: Do not have a best friend be a girl. You may not know it, but she might be a Tinkerbell.

So the best qualities of a Tinker Belle: She is loyal, protective, always there when you need her, intuitive of your needs, super cute, charming to everyone around her, and fun. She will always whip out those perfect qualities in your presence.
Everyone will love her. But she is blind to the admiration of anyone else around her. Peter is the most important man in her life.
She would do anything for him; even drink poison.-which she does. Sometimes, over and over again, because she loves Peter and he is dumb and doesn’t listen to her. This poison is sometimes self inflicted, however, because Tink is selfless when with Peter. She does things that are bad for her to make him happy. What could some of these things include? She turns down other opportunities to make new friends or spend time with other people, because he needs her or she feels like she has to. She puts up with his stupid lost boy friends even though they might be crude, annoying and rude. She might just start to dream about their future together because she is trapped in the delusion.

She is resilient however! The applause from the audience always revives her. Who is her audience? It’s her girl friends who always know how to keep her alive. It can even be her mom cheering for her (mostly because she is afraid she will never get married).
To be continued….

Monday, November 22, 2010

While You were Sleeping

About a month passed. I didn’t see CAT for quite some time, and if I did it was friendly and brief.
All of a sudden… I could feel him wiggling his way back into my life. But it was ok.. because he knew that we were JUST FRIENDS. I told him. He said he got it. We were buddies!!! Right?
So there I was. Sitting at home alone. Everyone was gone for that entire night.
So I started to watch a movie by myself. I then got a call from Carlton Archibald Toupee he said he was passing me and asked if he could stop by. I said, “yeah sure. I am just watching a movie and then I am going to go to bed. You can come say hi for a bit.”
So he did.
We watched whatever movie I was watching and he sat a comfortable distance away from me.
But I was weak. I could not keep my eyes open. So I gave in and drifted off to sleep.
A FEW hours later, I was awakened in a very strange way. It took me several minutes to really realize what was going on.
The rest of this story is not nice. You do not have to continue reading. I am taking a more serious approach because this was not ok.
Carton Archibald Toupee had his tongue down my throat. But something was wrong with me. I could not fully wake up and process what was happening.
I was still asleep and my body was fighting to go back to that state. My mind was fighting to be in control.
My eyes rolled open and closed, but my contacts were all foggy and I couldn’t see. I couldn’t move my limbs.
He tried to. I could feel him lift my arms around his neck and position my chin.
I finally could sense how unsafe the situation really was. I got that panic fight or flight, tightness in my chest and was able to gain control of my arms. I put them to his chest and pushed away from him.
He asked me, “What’s wrong? Have you never been kissed like this before?”
Like THIS… umm… NO!
I told him he needed to get off of me and go home. I was able to stand and attempt to walk him out and slam the door.
However, I didn’t achieve my goal. I was slammed up against the door frame and again, his tongue went down my throat.
He pulled away for one second to whisper, “Oh man, you are just so hot.” Then he dove back in.
I finally built up enough strength to pry him off of me.
He asked, “What are you thinking?”
I replied with a look of pure disgust, “Well, I am thinking that you totally just crossed a line.”
He started freaking out a little bit saying things like: No, no, nothing happened. It’s ok. It was good. Now we are more than just friends.
I interrupted at that last comment with, “No Carlton. We are not more than friends now. I am never going to date you. THIS is never going anywhere.”
He pushed my hair behind my ear, smiled and said, “You are just really tired. I think you should go get some sleep and I think you’ll feel differently about it in the morning.”
That made me vomit in my mouth.
“No, Carlton. I will not feel differently in the morning. You need to go and you aren’t allowed to talk to me anymore.”
I pushed him from the door, closed it, and locked it.
Needless to say, I finally learned my lesson from Carlton Archibald Toupee.
Yes, I was really dumb. I should have decided to banish him long before. I was in a very unsafe situation, which could have gotten out of control in seconds. It was really a miracle that I was able to gain control of the situation.
Now I have rules that I don’t break.
You should make some too.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


We have previously discussed Carlton Archibald Toupee (CAT). This particular lost boy has caused some serious grief in my life.

I had decided after the whole marching band competition, that I would simply let him be my friend. It was nice to have someone to talk to sometimes, so I kept him around but at a distance.

I hadn’t seen him much over the rest of that fall season, nor into the winter. When I got back from Christmas vacation, he could sense my return to Utah Valley. He texted me and asked if I wanted to come over and watch a movie at his new place. I was hanging out with my brother at the time and one of his girl friends, so I said I could if they could come to. He was fine with that situation, but I could sense his displeasure through his words. When we arrived to his house, I chose the couch that was in the weird orientation to the TV, hoping he would return to his spot on the “good” couch. He didn’t. He plastered himself right next to me. My brother laughed a little at the swift move.

As the movie started (“Better off Dead”), I moved a little away from CAT, and he leaned in closer. I’d take a scoot and he’d slide over. My brother and his friend were laughing so hard at me. But poor CAT didn’t get it.

Then…check this… He decided he would like to touch me. Possibly attempt an arm around me? So how did he execute this desire? Oh… he decided to stick his arm into the crack between the back cushions and the seat cushions. His hand then reappeared on the small of my back. Then the grazing started. He continued to graze my back with his finger tips for about 10 minutes. All I could think was, “Just don’t move! If you don’t move, maybe he’ll go away!” Eventually that lovely moment ended.

But he didn’t stop there.

I started to fall asleep, so I leaned away from him, put my elbow into the couch, leaned my head on my hand, and closed my eyes.

Meanwhile, my extra hand that was nearest to him was half way in my front pocket. Only my pinky and ring finger remained exposed.

I drifted off for a few moments until I was awakened by a creeping on my hand.

There his hand was… stroking my pinky and ring finger that were open to the elements.

I ignored it, because who would continue that behavior if there was no response back.

My eyes remained close. Surely he knew I was asleep.

Oh no no.

And then he pounced.

His hand grabbed onto my little helpless fingers. There he held for many a minute. Again I just kept thinking, “Don’t move!” It had worked before, right?

He just kept holding on. With about 5 minutes of the movie to go, he finally realized I hadn’t moved… and assumed I wasn’t interested.

I was sleeping!!! Weird.

Left his house feeling so dumb and very bad. Poor kid just didn’t get it.

So I texted him and asked him if he would come over the next morning so that I could talk to him.

He came over bright and early. I proceeded to explain to him that I was sleeping when he initially grabbed my little fingers. (He wasn’t weirded out by this at all.)

Then I did it. I had the DTR (Define the relationship)

I said, “Carlton, you are a really great friend and I just want to keep it that way.”

He was so very confused. No matter what angle I came from in order to try not to out right say, “Carlton, you are creeping me out, I don’t want you to touch me and I am not going t date you!”, he just didn’t get it.

He kept saying, “I am a little confused. I feel like you are skating around the issue here.”

Really now?? How dense can you get?

So I stopped and took some deep breaths. “Carlton. We are just friends and that is all we are ever going to be.”

He said ok and then had to leave for work. I felt like he FINALLY got it. That’s what I felt.

Oh boy was I wrong….

To be continued…

Monday, November 8, 2010


By a Wendy for a Wendy

When you are face to face with a lost boy:

  1. Get out… don’t even get involved… but if you don’t- adhere to the following:
  2. He has one hour to make an impression… after that you can get out
  3. You never have to say yes, especially if you know he’s a lost boy
  4. Always be in control of the situation- you are a woman and have the power
  5. Know the limit/ line that will not be crossed and stick to it
  6. Look moderately hot for the first date. You can tone it up or down depending on the first impression
  7. Have a first date curfew- midnight is appropriate… earlier is better
  8. Do not laugh and be charming if he isn’t funny or charming
  9. Limit the super personal information- talk about broad topics
  10. Maintain a neutral body language – don’t flirt unless he’s great
  11. Try not to be alone
  12. Always bring cash and a cell phone
  13. Have an escape plan set up. Know where all your exits are and have that “emergency call” on standby
  14. Don’t answer calls or texts after midnight- they are always booty calls
  15. If you are nervous at all that he’s strange- Meet at the place—then he doesn’t know where you live and you have a car.
  16. NEVER fall asleep in his presence. Trust me... the results are disturbing.
  17. Remember- a hundred lost boys will never equal 1 great man. Drop them all if they can't find themselves when you show up

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Marching Band Competition

Marching Band Competition

So this one time….

When I had first moved to Provo, I met this boy- Carlton Archibald Toupee (CAT). The name has been changed… However his real name is worse!! Carlton Archibald Toupee called me one day and asked if I was available. I didn’t have any homework so I figured that I was.

He said he had a bunch of homework he needed to do. (OK-weird. Why ask me out if you have homework?)

I think that I actually asked him that.

He explained that he really just wanted to spend some time with me and asked if I would just come hang out with him for a bit.

I really wanted to get out of my apartment, so I accepted, thinking that the “hangout” would only be like an hour max.

A little side note. This was mid- October in Utah. Since I am from Arizona, I didn’t own a coat. I pulled on my light sweater and answered the door.

A light drizzling rain greeted me behind the tall string-bean of a 25 year old boy.

The rain did not faze me because he owned a car. We began walking away from my door. And then he turned. He turned towards the Provo River Trail that ran behind my building and just kept walking. I stopped and stared at the pitch black trail that he barreled toward.

This trail is historically not safe at night. A fear overcame me.

He finally realized that I was 30 feet behind him and turned to find me. He coaxed me over by saying we were just walking over to the football stadium and that he would protect me in the dark.

I commented slightly under my breath, “I have a better chance of protecting myself.”

The football stadium was about 2 miles away from my apartment. We walked and the rain picked up.

As we approached the stadium, I began to realize what was happening. Simultaneously, I was hearing 4 different bands practice their brassy tunes. There were hundreds of kids adorned in brightly colored marching band uniforms. Another few hundred kids running around thinking they are hip because they were at a college stadium.

I turned to Carlton Archibald Toupee and gave him a confused look and asked what we were doing exactly.

HE proceeded to explain that we were attending the annual regional high school marching band competition.

This was not my scene. In high school I avoided the band kids almost as if they had leprosy. You can’t blame me however, because the band kids were the ones doing the nasty in the hallways at school. I didn’t want their STDs to jump onto me!

He then explained that he hadn’t missed a year for 5 years in a row! He was SO EXCITED!!

We got in line for tickets and I felt the urge to run. This may have been because I was slowly entering in to a hypothermic state.

As we stood there in the rain, I ran my fingers through my hair to inspect the state that it was in.

Dear Carlton… that lost soul… then made fun of my hair. Yes. He said that I looked like a wet puppy.

My mouth dropped. How socially retarded CAN you get.

Every girl wants to be told they look like a wet dog- ESPECIALLY if she didn’t want to be standing in the frigid rain in the first place.

I fought back with some sort of sarcastic remark that he couldn’t read. So I gave up.

We made our way into the stadium and found our prime rib seating! Of course that kind of seating couldn’t come so easily. The bench was soaked. I stared at it for a moment trying to decide the best mode of action.

Do I take off my thin sweater and dry off the seat? Do I use my cold fingers to brush off as much water as I can? Or do I just sit in the puddle. I went with option number 2!! My poor little fingers paid the price for the rest of the night.

He made himself comfortable and whipped out his stats homework.

Oh yes. I am very serious about this people!

Meanwhile, I started to convulse from the cold.

I was very uninterested in the performances that were taking place in front of me and my fingers were turning blue. Every once in awhile CAT would try to start a small conversation. I tried very hard to contribute, but I couldn’t keep my jaw still enough to form words. I got scared I was going to crack a tooth.

He didn’t seem to notice the chattering, nor the blue color of my body.

I was desperate for heat!!

I sat as close to Him as possible and leaned in. I was thinking, “Carlton Archibald Toupee, this is your opportunity right now! Put your arm around me. For the love of all that is holy, please put an arm around me!”

Again, he didn’t notice. What a shame!

FINALLY the last band played and we began our exit! And we walked. And walked. And walked. Did I mention… IT WAS STILL RAINING.

At that point I was soaked through and through. The puddles and mud we trudged through to get back to my apartment only made the experience more exciting… like a safari. The kind of safari where you are avoiding being the prey and the prey is a rapist on the Provo River Trail.

This reminds me of a song…. “ How do you solve a problem like Carlton Archibald Toupee?” Because this was only the beginning of much bigger problems.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Lefave Card # 2

Imagine this little lovely-

There is a teddy bear in a dark corner. The top of the card reads

“Just when you think you’re alone…”

You open to read- “…Someone lets you know they’re thinking about you!”

And all the rest….

11/ 11/ 94


Thought I would drop you a line- Saw this calendar and for some reason thought of you. (I really really really wish that this calendar was still in the package!)

Wasn’t for sure where you would be for thanksgiving or what you would be doing. But figured to send you this now before the rest of your fan mail started arriving.

My kids are going to Florida with their mother for 10 days over the holiday- I guess its tuna fish sandwiches again this year.

Enjoyed out conversation the last time we talked- Hope things are well for you- “Get some rest” & take care of yourself. Until next time- “May God Bless”.



P.S. For some reason your constantly on my mind….?


Sometimes as I read these words from Lefave, I feel as though he is writing to me. Poor, poor Carolyn. Pat is a super lost boy –creep. He has KIDS, and is fishing for an invite to Thanksgiving. I wonder if she succumbed to his manipulation? I also wonder why he always mentions her “fans”? Jealous and controlling? … I think YES!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Todd's First Date

One of the first moments I realized that I was a Wendy, was when I was 16. I had been 16 for about 6 months and was allowed to start dating. I had been going on occasional first dates with young boys who were all slowly turning 16. Todd. He had turned 16 a month after I had turned 16 and he had yet to ask a girl on a date. I had known Todd for a couple of years, along with our mutual group of guy friends.
One warm Sunday afternoon in Arizona, I noticed a commotion in my front yard. I went to our large front window and watched 2 of my best guy friends, drag poor Todd up my driveway. When they got to my porch, I opened the door and stepped out. Todd was bright red, sweating, and yelling, “Don’t! Stop! Leave me alone!”
I knew what this was all about. The other two boys yelled back, “ Todd, be a man and just do it!”
He was supposed to ask me on a date. His first date.
They threw him into my house and ran a few steps away. Todd was having a hard time breathing, so I ran to get him a glass of water to prevent him passing out in my doorway.
It took him about 2 and a half minutes to recover. I just stood there patiently waiting for him to get the guts to ask me his question. He sat down on the piano bench and started to speak, still gasping for air every few words. “Cara, (gasp) do you want (gasp) to go on a date (gasp, gasp) on Friday (big exhaustion of air)?”
I smiled my lovely smile and replied, “Todd, I would love to go on a date with you on Friday.”
He said, “Ok, cool. I’ll let you know the details later on in the week.”
I replied, “That sounds perfect.” Then I turned to the 3 boys and said, “You guys are lucky that I am me, and so cool; because this could be pretty offensive to any other girl. But don’t worry, I am not offended.”
All three boys thought about it for a second, and realized that it wasn’t very nice to force Todd up to my door.
Todd’s dad made him call and apologize a couple of days later for his behavior.
...This pattern continued for many, many years in my life. I became THE WENDY. The girl that went on the first date with each boy. I was the practice girl, whom you could be comfortable and simply “get the first date over with”.
This state I was stuck in, didn’t start to bother me until college, when I was the first date of a 22 year old. I mean really?

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


When you live in an old house, sometimes you get to discover treasures. The treasure I discovered was a package. This package contained 3 letters. They are addressed to a Miss Carolyn from a Mr. Pat LeFave.

From what I can infer, Miss Carolyn is a Wendy. She has attracted a lost boy. Or actually, more like a lost man. This is the first letter of the series:

Picture This....
A card.
A picture of the Western Hemisphere.
A word bubble that says :"You're here" in the area of Utah
Another word bubble that says: "I'm here", pointing to New York.

Something kinda like that^

You open this card....



Thought I would write and give your mind a break from Academia. Last time we talked it reminded me of the frat house I stayed as, 10 people answer the phone and no one takes a message- Signs "Girl in Bathroom", too much partying. Thinking your rich with $20.00 in your pocket- Striving with EGO's everyday. Thought about you since I've met you - seems these past 3 weeks my life has slowed down for some reason, and you have been on my mind often. I keep thinking back to the time we were sitting together during that testimony meeting - you said to stop that young girl because you wanted to speak to her. There was a tone in your voice that seemed to go right through me- I'd never experienced it before, and still can't put my finger on it. Hope you're enjoying life and that your struggles aren't too hard. (this is when the letter extended to the back of the card.) But if they (are/do)(the studies) remember the men are doing the hard stuff! Just kidding, I'll be your fan! Anyway I'm hoping to see you again soon- New Years- Love Pat Will call again - If you Don't rush me off the phone like the last two times.


To me... this character screams lost boy. "If you don't rush me off the phone like the last two times," He is dripping with passive aggression.

Oh and don't worry... this story gets better.
ps.. This is not my spelling. I just transferred the letter exactly as written.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Enjoy The Show

So today this is my song. Sometimes you feel like your life is captured in a song. At least for the moment.... Enjoy the show... That's one of my goals for this year. I'm working on it and getting better! xoxox

So This One Time...

Some of this blog is going to become part of a book. The Wendy Diaries are going to be very popular. Here is another old story.


I was in a play and I was partnered with a boy just younger than me. This poor boy was so very unfortunate. Home-schooled. Sweaty. Doorbell ditching obesity’s doorstep. The most awkward human I have ever met. I was playing a prostitute in the show, and he was told to be a flirty gold miner in the bar. His idea of flirting: getting way to close to my face with his unbrushed breath and then wiggling his sweaty, dirty, fingers under my chin, squealing, “flirty, flirty, flirty!” I asked him to please stop doing that.

One time while we were waiting to run on stage for our scene, he decided to act out the love song scene currently happening on stage. He sang the loving words and proceeded to get closer and closer to my body and my face. I had a very confused look pasted on and sat frozen in my confused state. At the same moment the couple on stage dove into a passionate kiss, he pounced toward my mouth. In record time, I regained my composure and ducked for cover. We then ran on stage.

Days later, my mother got a call from this young man. He asked her if I was available the next weekend. She told him I was and ended the conversation.

Later that day she asked me if I was free the next week. I knew there was something fishy. I coaxed the information out of her that homeschooled kid had called. I was furious. I begged her to call him back and tell him that I wasn’t available. She said, “Cara that is so rude, give him just one chance. Be nice.” The reality was that I actually was not free that weekend. My best friend was in town and it was our mutual good friend’s birthday that night. I explained this to her in a panic. I also explained to her that, technically I wasn’t allowed to go on single dates at the time. I also explained that I was scared of the kid.

I finally convinced her to call. But she was bamboozled. She explained that out family rule was that I could not single date until I was 18. She asked him if he could please get a friend to come along. His reply: “I don’t have any friends.”

She broke down with remorse for the unfortunate child. She told him to go on ahead and ask me!

I cried.

A few days later, my mother told me to go clean my room for a while. I went. Five minutes later, my little sister burst into my room and teased me to go out in the front yard. I wouldn’t go. 20 minutes later my mom came and yelled at me and told me I was being rude.

So I stomped my way outside and found my front yard covered with lunch bags filled with sand and candles. There was some clever poem asking me to accompany him to the Riparian Preserve the next week for a luminary festival.

Something like this...>

I was so embarrassed at the level of intensity this date was having. Then I realized. I was going to be his first date ever. Oh joy.

I sent him an email with some kind of rhyme that said I would go. Only after another battle with my mother about me being nice and giving everyone a chance.

Surprise, surprise. The night of the date, my parents decided to go out of town. I was left alone with no one to threaten the kid to have me home on time or to treat me with respect.

So I called my best friend. He showed up at my door with our mutual friend; they both wore huge dark trench coats and reflective aviator sunglasses.

They answered the door when homeschooled kid showed up. They interviewed him with some of the funniest questions I have ever heard: How do you feel about the war in Iraq? How long have you had your driver’s license? Have you ever kissed a girl? What time do you plan on having Cara home this evening?

I hid in my room and laughed until I cried a little bit. At the end of the interview, I emerged. I wore my mother’s long coat with deep pockets. I wanted to be prepared for a sneaky hand attack.

We drove in his very small truck to the Riparian Preserve about 15 minutes away from my house.

We walked around in the night following the luminary lit pathways. I kept my hands safely tucked away in the deep pockets of my mother’s coat.

I talked incessantly in order to avoid awkward silence and even more awkward conversation from his mouth.

Once we had walked over every inch of that place, he walked me back to his truck. He drove to his neighborhood and we again walked. This time it was through the Christmas lights of the courtyard of his country club. I ran out of things to talk about. Therefore, he had room to talk. What did he choose…. The war in Iraq. We had conflicting opinions, but I was not about to have that discussion with him. We jumped into his truck and sat for a minute in quiet.

“So are we just watching other people drive in the parking lot?” I asked.

He then threw out his own conversation. “So are you anything like your character?”

“Umm, are you asking me if I am a prostitute?”

“Well I, I , I,”

“Seriously? No. It is definitely just a character. Not a part of me at all. No. I am not a whore.”

“Oh, I just… I mean…”

“Yeah… right…. I think we should go.”

He started the truck. We drove back to my neighborhood. It was my friend’s birthday, so we went to the party because I had previously mentioned it trying to get out of the date, but he just invited himself.

Through this party, he proceeded to “flirt” with my best friend, and definitely got her number. Of course I supported this action in order to sway his creepy attention away from me.

Poor, poor lost boy. I am not your Wendy.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

This Wendy is exhausted!!!

So this summer I kept myself very busy by participating in Annie Get Your Gun. It started out as a very awful experience. I even tried to quit, but the production crew wouldn't let me.

It got better though....

I became better acquainted with a few loves of my life.

Mark is such a lovely human!! I adore him to death. He keeps me vain and encourages me all the time.
Love him!!

This is Emily. She is the most lovely lady I have ever met. She and Mark are now dating.... and might I just say... the perfect match.

I love her, I love him. = magic

I also went to school ALL SUMMER!! It was long and.... long.

Now I am way burnt out starting this semester out.
I don't know what it is about this semester, but it drains me completely by the end of the day. When it is over I am going to have a super big celebration. Not even kidding.

The best part of coming back to school is that Marina and I are now together. I had to say goodbye to my lovely Meringue House, but this Sugar Shack is growing on me. AND Marina is with me. It has been so great for the both of us I think. We need each other. At least for now.

We have had more fun in these last few weeks than we have had in years. Best Friends Forever!!!
For some reason this girl and I are perfect for one another. The day we find boys that make us laugh more than we make each other laugh.... that will be the day of true love.

Now I'm back to my life of stress and nausea. I love that. New meds= joy. Or not
But on the bright side.... my insides should be healthier. :)

Life is good. Even though it makes me tired.

So happy right now!!


Friday, June 11, 2010

18 hour date guy

To start this story out... you must know... that I am a Wendy. My whole life I have attracted only lost boys. You know.. the boys that just haven't figured it out and just want someone to take care of them... that someone seems to always be me. Being a Wendy also means that I am just way too nice. I smile too big and my eyes just seem to twinkle all on their own. I'm enchanting... and I just haven't figured out how to say no.

Here's the real story of a girl gone nice.
It started out with a call from a cute new boy in my ward inviting me to dinner at someone's house. So of course I booked it over there and brought my big sister along with me.

When I get there, the cutie patootie wasn't even talking to me. I couldn't really worry about it because this other guy followed me around the whole time. Picture this: he was wearing one of those "clubbin" dress shirts- you know the kind... the one with the swirly design that starts on the pocket and wraps over the shoulder and down the back. Unfortunately, this shirt was probably two sizes too small for this young man.
Despite the fact that I was completely distracted by the swirling effect of his shirt, I smiled and carried on the conversation, even when he kept asking me to go downstairs and watch a movie with him.
My sister needed to go home and cutie patootie left... so I made my exit.
I made it 3 feet from the door when shirt guy burst through the door and yelled my name. My sister took off to the car and left me there. Just a helpless Wendy.
He says," HEY CARAAAAA!!! Can I like, get your number so that maybe we can hangout sometime"?
In true Wendy fashion, I said, "Yeah suuure". I figured he wouldn't ever even call.

Little did I know, he was already making a plan. He texted me 5 minutes later to say "Hey.. It was totally awesome to meet you". Less than 42 hours later, I got THE TEXT.
"Hey a bunch of friends and I are going to the hot springs on Saturday. Do you want to come?"

I agonized over this. I had a rehearsal that day and a friend had invited me to drive home to Arizona too. But I also hadn't gotten to know ANYONE since moving to Provo.
I figured...Hey if it's a big group then I am bound to meet some cool people there.

He picked me up at 6:30 ...IN THE A.M ....
We met up for breakfast with ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE who were going with us... the other TWO PEOPLE!!!! So the big group I had planned on, turned out to be just a double. As we were eating breakfast I discovered that there was a hair through my whole pancake. I tried to eat around it and not be rude. As you can imagine, I didn't eat very much.
As we drove to our destination, I was enlightened. This is HIS story...."So When I was visiting your ward on Sunday, I totally looked up at you leading the music and I thought... WOW THAT IS A REAL WOMAN! (yes those were his exact words, 5 inches from my face) So I totally asked everyone at dinner if they had your number. Cutie Patootie said he did, so I had him call and invite you."
That is the moment that I felt waaaaay dumb for being so excited that Cutie Patootie called me. Plus also, I felt like a piece of meat.

Hiking the 2-3 miles up to the hot springs in the snow, the other couple decided to make-out the entire way there. They also decided to make comments like..."YOU guys should totally try this".
I had known shirt guy for a total of maybe 20 minutes. He kept calling me the wrong name.
My reaction to these comments... Ew.

We finally made it to the hot springs at the very top. There we were... the 4 of us sitting in sulfur water half naked- on a first date. I felt like a piece of meat again.
We were there for several hours. Enough for me to think that I would never become un-pruney again. It was pretty uneventful except for the frequent "you are sitting waaaay too close to me", and "please get your hand away from my knee" thoughts.

There was a lot of friendly conversation on the hike back down. Innocent enough.... Slightly uncomfortable because he liked to talk about his "tough times", "rebellious years" and "being offended by his ward" stories.
I tried to make his confessions less awkward, so I told him about the one time when I was 18 when I thought about getting a tattoo (for like 10 minutes).

On the car ride back he said he had really great Jazz seat tickets and asked if I would go with him. Again... in true Wendy fashion I said, "Suuuure. That sounds like fun."

He was totally stoked about my acceptance.
He proceeded to ask me if I liked pick up lines. I do think that said by the right person and in the right situation, they can be quite entertaining. This I told him.

He dropped me off at my apartment and said he'd be back in 20 minutes.
I jumped into the shower as fast as a I could.
He was early.
He said he'd rather wait for me at my apartment than sit around at his friend's and wait.

The conversation on the way up to Salt Lake consisted of dieting talk, carbohydrate intake, more rebellious times..... and my family. oh baby oh baby. So interesting.
When we got to the game, he was trying really hard to make it a super cool thing.
Apparently, he works there, so he introduced me to all the people he works with. I probably got asked "What is a pretty thing like you doing with THIS guy?" at least 20 times.
I just smiled and let my eyes twinkle.

During the game he was really really loud. People kept turning around giving us looks. I was slightly uncomfortable.
Then it started.....
He said, "Weird, my knee is twitching. Do you feel that?"
I put a finger to his knee and said, "No", very confused.
He said, "Neither do I," and grabbed my hand.

It took me a good 3 seconds to figure out that it was supposed to be one of those "funny pick up lines". I forced out a laugh and said, "ooooh wooow, that was waaaay smooth. you totally got me!" Then I quickly pulled out my hand and clapped for a miracle basket!

The game finally ended. He said he needed to stop by his house in Sandy to pick up some church clothes, since he was going to go to my church tomorrow instead of his.
As we pulled up he asked, " So have you taken any really fun classes before, just for fun?" I said no because I just always took only the classes I had to take.
He tells me that he took an astronomy class that he really liked.

He said,"Get out of the car, I want to show you something".(AHHHH)
So I get out (AHHHHHHHHHHHH). He stands behind me and points me towards Orion's belt.
HE says, "This is Orion's belt. (yeah I'm not dumb) But Orion's belt is part of his whole body. This is his head, these are his legs, and THESE ARE HIS ARMS, AND THEY WRAP AROUND THE BELT." At that intense moment, he wrapped his arms around my waist and put his head on my shoulder and whispered those last fateful words into my ear.

I cringed and screamed inside my head.
Again, I forced a laugh out and told him how smooth he was while I wiggled out of his grasp. He kept very close to me as he told me he'd be right back.
I jumped into the car and frantically texted my best guy friend from home for advice on how to get out! He freaked out at me for being so nice and told me to tell Star Guy that I was really tired.

When we were almost back to my apartment, he told me that the guy from the earlier part of the date wanted us to come and watch a movie at his place. I informed him that I was just pretty darn tired. He quickly began to explain that the guy only lives across the street from me and I don't have to watch the whole thing, and he promises to take me home the second I start to fall asleep.
Trapped in my Wendy condition, I agreed AGAIN. I figured I could get away in like under a half hour.

Inside the house I am surrounded by 4 boys. One of the others scooted too close and started a little flirt talk.
I scooted away, and found myself too close to Star Guy. He kept scooting closer and leaning in even closer than the scooting would allow.
I started out sitting in a comfortable position, but change to the Universal Rejection Position" of my arms folded into my armpits and hands deep inside the sleeves of my sweater. At least I THOUGHT it was universal.

Instead he thought I was cold. He asked me if I was 5 times and then leaned in closer, as if to give me his body heat.

Meanwhile, my bangs had fallen into my eyes. I began to release my sweater held hand from my armpit grasp to swipe away the fallen bangs. My hand made it only half way to my face when it was snatched from the air and pasted to my thigh, strangled by an outside death grip.
My hand still remained inside the protection of my dear sweater (best 40-something dollars I ever spent) except for the tips of my 3 longest fingers. I panicked for a moment, then calmed myself because the situation couldn't get worse. It would all be over soon.

He wouldn't let go. The thumb caressing started, and so did the primary songs in my head.
He started leaning forward to the coffee table in front of us a million times trying to reach his cell phone. He took my whole bodywith him in this effort not to let go of my hand. (I think I still have a little whiplash).

He started texting on his phone with his free hand.
I thought to myself... "If he texts my phone something, I will freakout!"

He didn't.
He decided to simply just hand me his phone. I carefully leaned over to read the message. (I hope you are sitting right now). This is what it said (seriously):

"Straight up, I really just want to hold you right now. Is that cool or just too soon?"

I am not sure the exact time it took me to stop the heavy dry heaving and then the flow of throwing up inside my mouth, but I finally was able to answer, "Yeah, it's definitely too soon". (Not going to lie, I think I even had forgotten his name around that time. I wasn't about to let a guy I didn't knows name HOLD ME!)

He chose to lay his head on my shoulder instead.

By some grace, there was a funny moment in the movie and I threw my hands up in the air at the humor. My fingers were FREE!!
About that time, I got a text from my roommate:
"Cara! Where are you?! We haven't seen you all day! Are you ok? Do you need an out??!?!?!"
I said,"No I'm fine. I think that I can make my exit in a minute!"

I looked at the time. 2:00... A.M.

My arms returned quickly to their armpit home. He turned and stared at my hidden hands.
A couple minutes later, I forced some yawns out and said I thought it was definitely time for me to go to bed.
He begrudgingly got up and we walked out to his car, and he drove me across the street.
He said, "So I like totally had an awesome time with you today..... and I'd.... Like totally like to take you out again."

I replied,"Oh yeah it was a fun, long day. Well just so you know, I'm going to be really busy for the next few weeks because of the play that I am in."

"Oh yeah, totally. I am going to be pretty busy too."

He walked me to my door. I hugged him quickly in order to not invite anymore touching and lingering.

Once I thought he was out of earshot, I screamed. My roommates were still awake waiting to comfort me.
Thank goodness for roommates!
The clock read 2:23 A.M.
Just shy of 18 hours.
The marathon date.

A few days later. He posted pictures on facebook of his 3 year old daughter.
18 hours.... That is like 3 or 4 dates. You would think that something like that would come up.

I'm 20 years old Mister. I ain't bein no baby mama.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

This is how we do it

I have been yelled at repeatedly for not postinf more often. So here I go...

This is how I roll now a days.

This weekend everyone else I know seemed to be on a date. Therefore, I studied. Well actually I watched Hulu and studied. Friday I caught myself up on all the shows I like, then fell asleep reading powerpoints. Saturday, I did my roommate's make up for a date and proceeded to then spend 4 hours at the BYU library. I felt very productive I tell you!! I got myself very ahead for the week!! Which is very good indeed because I am doing a musical on the side. The show is "Once upon a Mattress", and NO it is not as dirty as it sounds. It is the princess and the pea story, grosso.
It's been pretty fun so far, and I am really hoping to make a friend out of it. I think it is going to be very good for me. I feel invigorated as I write!!!!

Ok.. good stuff.
Last night after FHE, my roommates, Nellie and Maquel (coolest cats ever) wanted to watch a movie. Since I was SOOOO over the whole studying thing, I decided to participate. But be fore we sat down in a vegetative state, we christened our chalk board. Well it is really Alyssa's chalk board from her wedding, but I have been taking care of it. I came across a small piece of chalk this weekend and I knew it was a sign that it was time to make the chalk board "OURS". I wrote all the roommates' names on it including Katie's fiances name since he lives with us too. Maquel wrote memorable quotes, and Nellie drew some inspired pieces of art. It is a board of magic.

After this ceremony, we proceeded to sit down and watch......... High School Musical.... Oh yes.
Then afterward, I was filled with high school emotions and spirit, so I threw down my best dance moves. Maquel and Nellie then showed me their best tap moves and it just got crazy from there. It was a true good time.
I like us.
Yeah you only wish you were this cool.

The three of us are totally stoked to move into the beautiful Meringue House in the Spring. It will be magical!

WE made a pact! We will invite new people over at least 2x per week. ... Hopefully we meet new people!!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Master of the Probe

So today I started my first Mock Appointment. This is a run through of an entire appointment on a classmate before I have my first outside patient. There are 59 girls that I could have been partnered with... and I got the 1 that I didn't ever want to work on. We will call her Sarah.
So the worst part of an adult cleaning is the probing (sticking a metal stick up under your gums on every tooth in little spot possible). So after I perform this stressful act on my "patient", my teacher has to come check my work. He takes a look at my instrument and with confusion explains that the probes we use are kind of thicker than usual. My "patient" then exclaims,"Oh that must have been why it hurt so dang much! I mean seriously, if you are that bad, your patients are going to hate you so much. I hope that it's that your probe is bad!"
Yes, she just insulted me A LOT right to my face and right in front of my instructor. Luckily I had a mask on because my mouth dropped, and I mouthed a rude word.
At the end of the day while I was cleaning up and chatting with my teacher, I said that I thought I must be like the world's worst prober. He whispered, " well it's a lot harder when the patient is really sensitive". That made me feel better because what he was really saying was.." Yeah that B is a baby. Don't worry about it!"...... Thanks Professor M!

Friday, January 15, 2010

A Real Hygienist

So in a few days I will become a real hygienist. I start working on real patients! I am quite thrilled, plus also, a little scared. It is going to be a lot of work and pretty darn stressful for a while. To recruit my patients (especially the ones with really really bad teeth), Alyssa and I designed a business card and flyer to attract attention!

Pretty dang cute huh? Yeah we know.

So if you want to spend 3 amazing hours with me too... just give me a call ;)


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