Monday, February 28, 2011

Lost Boys- defined

I thought that it was time that I defined Lost Boys to the public masses. It is simple really. Lost Boys are the boys that you hate to love and love to hate. They can often be confused with Pirates, however, they are two different species.
Let us list off some characteristics. Lost Boys may be any or all of the following:
Socially retarded
Perverted
Not cute
Completely geeky
Needs to be taken care of
No direction in life
Rude
Stupid
Inappropriate
A Douche-bag
A puppy dog
Dense
Not a good listener 
Follows a leader (probably a dumb one)
Manipulative
or Easily manipulated


* The need to be taken care of is one of the most irritating characteristics. You have a mother right? Let's not regress back to infancy when we are together. You can do that with your own mother during Christmas
 break.
 *Also, I really think that there should be classes to teach all boys the social graces of life. There are just a lot of things that it is not socially acceptable to talk about in front of a lady. Let's not embarrass me in public with your mouth alright?? Thank you.


  Well.... those are the negative character traits. Often times, Lost Boys are masters of the charm! They can make a girl melt like a Popsicle on the Fourth of July if they are THAT kind of a Lost Boy.
         The other ones are not charming. They really are just lost all the time. He'll just stare at you with lost little eyes, wishing you were his Wendy. Lost Boys often see girls as prizes and not as an actual human.
That gets old very quickly.

But Lost Boys are usually really fun! They have souls of adventure! A Lost Boy loves to leave the world behind, run away from being a man, and play games. He loves to have a Wendy hanging around for these games too. Girls make everything more fun. Especially when there is one to hold your hand or cuddle up with during the scary parts of the adventure.
As a Wendy, it can feel so good to have that intense pull at your heart strings when someone needs you around. And Lost Boys LOOOOOVE to have a girl on their arm. It feels even better to a Lost Boy to have a lovely lady with them. This can be a little toxic on both ends. Everyone just wants to feel loved and wanted.
Not to say that Lost Boys don't deserve love. They do! But it is all about timing people and finding the right match! Not all Lost Boys and Wendys are created equal. Chemistry and such have to come into play as well.
Wendy! Keep your pretty little eyes and perfect smile under control, or all the Lost Boys will fall for you!




Beware the eyes and the grin Lost Boys!!!!  They are potent.









Lost Boys are not lost forever though!! There is hope! Wendy takes them home and finds them a real mother. They clean themselves up and become respectable men in British society. (I assume so at least- They were no longer living in the nursery with Wendy at the end of the play.)
They may be a little dirty and rough around the edges. But they can clean up. As a Wendy, you may have to be responsible for getting them on the path of cleaning up and growing up. This is the key though: Wendy didn't do all the work. She just brought them home to a mother and a father. Mothers and fathers clean boys  up and teach them how to be men.




 
Wendy just has to marry one once he is man.
All children grow up but one.
If you are a Lost Boy, do not be lost in the illusion that you will never have to grow up. You will. Especially if you want a hot little woman to stand by your side for the rest of time.










You can protest: No! I Won't Grow Up! You can claim that you made a vow to your Peter (Your Lost Boy, best friend, leader in shenanigans) that you guys would never grow up. You'll never give in to "the man".
Trust me... you will. You'll grow up. And someone will love you for it.
Growing up does not mean that the adventures have to end. No, no. This is when the greatest adventures of your life will truly begin. Wendy wants nothing more than to take care of her man. When he is a grown up and takes care of her... oh she'll definitely take care of you. Mmhmm. That's exactly what I mean.
Because that, my dears, is how grown ups who love each other work. That is a healthy relationship.


Yes, Lost Boys can be very frustrating for a young Wendy. They can make her feel shot down and trapped under ground with them.
But all Lost Boys grow up. And then we will fall in love with them. Just please, don't keep us waiting for too long. Neverland is a hard place to be stuck in for more than a few years. Wendy's can forget who they are if they have been in Neverland too long. And trust me, you do not want a Lost Wendy. They can be a little eccentric, or even a little crazy. 

We have hope for all of us! It takes two to tango ya'll! Wendys will learn to love and care for their men but not baby them, and Lost Boys will grow up to be respectable men!

Let's start today!

Because no one wants to be stuck in Neverland forever!

GRADUATION


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