Monday, February 28, 2011

Lost Boys- defined

I thought that it was time that I defined Lost Boys to the public masses. It is simple really. Lost Boys are the boys that you hate to love and love to hate. They can often be confused with Pirates, however, they are two different species.
Let us list off some characteristics. Lost Boys may be any or all of the following:
Socially retarded
Not cute
Completely geeky
Needs to be taken care of
No direction in life
A Douche-bag
A puppy dog
Not a good listener 
Follows a leader (probably a dumb one)
or Easily manipulated

* The need to be taken care of is one of the most irritating characteristics. You have a mother right? Let's not regress back to infancy when we are together. You can do that with your own mother during Christmas
 *Also, I really think that there should be classes to teach all boys the social graces of life. There are just a lot of things that it is not socially acceptable to talk about in front of a lady. Let's not embarrass me in public with your mouth alright?? Thank you.

  Well.... those are the negative character traits. Often times, Lost Boys are masters of the charm! They can make a girl melt like a Popsicle on the Fourth of July if they are THAT kind of a Lost Boy.
         The other ones are not charming. They really are just lost all the time. He'll just stare at you with lost little eyes, wishing you were his Wendy. Lost Boys often see girls as prizes and not as an actual human.
That gets old very quickly.

But Lost Boys are usually really fun! They have souls of adventure! A Lost Boy loves to leave the world behind, run away from being a man, and play games. He loves to have a Wendy hanging around for these games too. Girls make everything more fun. Especially when there is one to hold your hand or cuddle up with during the scary parts of the adventure.
As a Wendy, it can feel so good to have that intense pull at your heart strings when someone needs you around. And Lost Boys LOOOOOVE to have a girl on their arm. It feels even better to a Lost Boy to have a lovely lady with them. This can be a little toxic on both ends. Everyone just wants to feel loved and wanted.
Not to say that Lost Boys don't deserve love. They do! But it is all about timing people and finding the right match! Not all Lost Boys and Wendys are created equal. Chemistry and such have to come into play as well.
Wendy! Keep your pretty little eyes and perfect smile under control, or all the Lost Boys will fall for you!

Beware the eyes and the grin Lost Boys!!!!  They are potent.

Lost Boys are not lost forever though!! There is hope! Wendy takes them home and finds them a real mother. They clean themselves up and become respectable men in British society. (I assume so at least- They were no longer living in the nursery with Wendy at the end of the play.)
They may be a little dirty and rough around the edges. But they can clean up. As a Wendy, you may have to be responsible for getting them on the path of cleaning up and growing up. This is the key though: Wendy didn't do all the work. She just brought them home to a mother and a father. Mothers and fathers clean boys  up and teach them how to be men.

Wendy just has to marry one once he is man.
All children grow up but one.
If you are a Lost Boy, do not be lost in the illusion that you will never have to grow up. You will. Especially if you want a hot little woman to stand by your side for the rest of time.

You can protest: No! I Won't Grow Up! You can claim that you made a vow to your Peter (Your Lost Boy, best friend, leader in shenanigans) that you guys would never grow up. You'll never give in to "the man".
Trust me... you will. You'll grow up. And someone will love you for it.
Growing up does not mean that the adventures have to end. No, no. This is when the greatest adventures of your life will truly begin. Wendy wants nothing more than to take care of her man. When he is a grown up and takes care of her... oh she'll definitely take care of you. Mmhmm. That's exactly what I mean.
Because that, my dears, is how grown ups who love each other work. That is a healthy relationship.

Yes, Lost Boys can be very frustrating for a young Wendy. They can make her feel shot down and trapped under ground with them.
But all Lost Boys grow up. And then we will fall in love with them. Just please, don't keep us waiting for too long. Neverland is a hard place to be stuck in for more than a few years. Wendy's can forget who they are if they have been in Neverland too long. And trust me, you do not want a Lost Wendy. They can be a little eccentric, or even a little crazy. 

We have hope for all of us! It takes two to tango ya'll! Wendys will learn to love and care for their men but not baby them, and Lost Boys will grow up to be respectable men!

Let's start today!

Because no one wants to be stuck in Neverland forever!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Follow Me!!!!!!

Please become a follower.... that way I know who is reading, and then I don't have to make this private!

Word Gets Out

Sometimes, the word gets out about my blog. A guy I might go out with will either find the link to my blog on my facebook, stumble in on me while I happen to be writing for it, or I might just mention it and then he'll look it up. Which ever the situation (they have all happened) the young man will always ask a lot of questions. He just seems to want to know everything about the individual that I have exploited through my words. He often asks questions that I really am not comfortable answering. (If I wanted just anyone to know that piece of info... then it would have been put in the story in the first place.)
The best part about going out with guys that have read my blog, is that they try to psychoanalyze me through my creative writing skills.
I love this!
He always seems to think that because he read a couple humorous stories from my escapades, that he knows me; that my personality is crystal clear and that I can be read just like my blog. (Don't talk to me like you knoooooow me!) *sassy voice*

Hehehehehehe (sneeky laugh)
The fun part is that I am so very complex. Oh and I am a decent actress. Actually I am pretty amazing at it.... not to toot my own horn.

Case and point: Once upon a time, there was a boy that I adored. I went to a party with him. He chose to talk to his long lost friends upon arrival. Oh I was not upset at all. I completely understand and I can take care of myself.
Moments later.... there was a commotion. Another short young man struck up a lively conversation about Arizona and dental school with me. I smiled. Oh how I smiled. I carried this dull conversation on for about 15 minutes.
Then... tada! Another young man seized an opportunity to jump into the conversation! I had actually run into this particular young man the night before at work. Ironic!
He struck up a similar conversation about my education and all my goals! (Smooth right? Get me talking about myself and pretend to be engrossed in the magic of my voice!) However, I noticed that every 10.4 seconds, he focused his energy at staring at my chest for a second before reverting back to eye contact.
Not awkward. (sarcasm) Nope not at all. (Actually, I have become aware that almost all males cannot have a conversation with me without looking down. And no... turtle neck sweaters do not make a difference. I have accepted that it will happen and I will not get become enraged or judge him too harshly.)

I then turned the conversation to him and got him to talk about himself a little (I was sick of hearing my own voice). When there wasn't much more to say, the new young man asked if I was dating the friend I had come with.
Well... no indeed was not dating this boy.
So he asked if he could take me out sometime and got my number.
I was hesitant. And I could hear it in my voice.
But he was a nice kid. I just wasn't really interested.

When I could walk back over to my "adored" friend, I told him that I couldn't believe he left me standing there for so long. His reply- "You looked like you were having fun."  Hahahahhahaha..... oh oh oh. ***** Point made****
I can smile my way through any situation. My eyes just do that sparkling thing!!!!
He asked if that boy was a lost boy. I told him no- I just wasn't interested.
And then I blamed him for letting me get asked out because he left me standing there. Then I fake punched him in the stomach. Childish behavior- yes. But who cares?

Anyways... point made. I was not having fun.. I was just being polite and filling in space since I was standing alone. I am just a really great pretender.

It is an art-form really. Or I will just keep telling myself that since I do it all the time and I am getting really great at it.
But the thoughts were these:
-This kid is nice
-I still need to be dating (even though I kinda almost hate it)
-There are more experiences to be had and personalities and characteristic to be met.
-He may never call
-Be polite Cara

Yes be polite Cara. Always polite...

Dear boys... all boys (especially the ones that aren't lost)
Please do not be afraid of me even though I am a master of disguise. Don't let my outrageous experiences, my sparkling eyes, my ginormous smile, my award winning acting skills, nor my life dreams intimidate you.
Plus also.... please do not try to analyze me through my rantings.
The stories are true, but sometimes the energy displayed in the words is far more intense that I might actually present on the outside. You might be learning somethings from reading about my experience, but don't think you know who I am from them.
Just learn that it is not ok to kiss girls while they are asleep on the couch especially after she told you you were just friends; keep first dates short; never make fun of her hair- especially when it is your fault it is wet; and just don't ever ask a girl if she is a prostitute. Those are just real social faux pas.

Here is some more truth:
I am exaggerating a little bit about my acting. I do actually enjoy having conversations with people. I love meeting new people and I do actually get excited about topics and stories people tell me. I am still a genuine person. And once you get to know me... you will really know when my eyes are sparkling at you because I am  in love with the moment I am sharing with you, or if they are just sparkling out of polite behaviors. It's ok to take a chance on me to find out.

This is how you should get to know me:
-ask me on a real date (fully planned but not too intense)
-ask me lots of questions
-tell me about yourself and watch my face carefully for my reactions
-*try to make me laugh (A real laugh. My ugly laugh.) It will tell you a lot about me.*
- ask me to include you in on something special in my life (If I let you spend time with my family- it's kind of a big deal)
-try to create a story that wouldn't end up here
-let me do something for you. (If I actively do something for someone... I am interested and yeah it's kind of a big deal)
-actively try to spend time with me. (my first love language attribute is time- so spend a little time with me)

My blog does not define me. Wendy does not define me.
Let me define me.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

18 hour date guy- reposted

 This is a repost (back by popular demand!) - This is the first story I told and I wanted people to not have to search for it so hard

To start this story out... you must know... that I am a Wendy. My whole life I have attracted only lost boys. You know.. the boys that just haven't figured it out and just want someone to take care of them... that someone seems to always be me. Being a Wendy also means that I am just way too nice. I smile too big and my eyes just seem to twinkle all on their own. I'm enchanting... and I just haven't figured out how to say no.

Here's the real story of a girl gone nice.
It started out with a call from a cute new boy in my ward inviting me to dinner at someone's house. So of course I booked it over there and brought my big sister along with me.

When I get there, the cutie patootie wasn't even talking to me. I couldn't really worry about it because this other guy followed me around the whole time. Picture this: he was wearing one of those "clubbin" dress shirts- you know the kind... the one with the swirly design that starts on the pocket and wraps over the shoulder and down the back. Unfortunately, this shirt was probably two sizes too small for this young man.
Despite the fact that I was completely distracted by the swirling effect of his shirt, I smiled and carried on the conversation, even when he kept asking me to go downstairs and watch a movie with him.
My sister needed to go home and cutie patootie left... so I made my exit.
I made it 3 feet from the door when shirt guy burst through the door and yelled my name. My sister took off to the car and left me there. Just a helpless Wendy.
He says," HEY CARAAAAA!!! Can I like, get your number so that maybe we can hangout sometime"?
In true Wendy fashion, I said, "Yeah suuure". I figured he wouldn't ever even call.

Little did I know, he was already making a plan. He texted me 5 minutes later to say "Hey.. It was totally awesome to meet you". Less than 42 hours later, I got THE TEXT.
"Hey a bunch of friends and I are going to the hot springs on Saturday. Do you want to come?"

I agonized over this. I had a rehearsal that day and a friend had invited me to drive home to Arizona too. But I also hadn't gotten to know ANYONE since moving to Provo.
I figured...Hey if it's a big group then I am bound to meet some cool people there.

He picked me up at 6:30 ...IN THE A.M ....
We met up for breakfast with ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE who were going with us... the other TWO PEOPLE!!!! So the big group I had planned on, turned out to be just a double. As we were eating breakfast I discovered that there was a hair through my whole pancake. I tried to eat around it and not be rude. As you can imagine, I didn't eat very much.
As we drove to our destination, I was enlightened. This is HIS story...."So When I was visiting your ward on Sunday, I totally looked up at you leading the music and I thought... WOW THAT IS A REAL WOMAN! (yes those were his exact words, 5 inches from my face) So I totally asked everyone at dinner if they had your number. Cutie Patootie said he did, so I had him call and invite you."
That is the moment that I felt waaaaay dumb for being so excited that Cutie Patootie called me. Plus also, I felt like a piece of meat.

Hiking the 2-3 miles up to the hot springs in the snow, the other couple decided to make-out the entire way there. They also decided to make comments like..."YOU guys should totally try this".
I had known shirt guy for a total of maybe 20 minutes. He kept calling me the wrong name.
My reaction to these comments... Ew.

We finally made it to the hot springs at the very top. There we were... the 4 of us sitting in sulfur water half naked- on a first date. I felt like a piece of meat again.
We were there for several hours. Enough for me to think that I would never become un-pruney again. It was pretty uneventful except for the frequent "you are sitting waaaay too close to me", and "please get your hand away from my knee" thoughts.

There was a lot of friendly conversation on the hike back down. Innocent enough.... Slightly uncomfortable because he liked to talk about his "tough times", "rebellious years" and "being offended by his ward" stories.
I tried to make his confessions less awkward, so I told him about the one time when I was 18 when I thought about getting a tattoo (for like 10 minutes).

On the car ride back he said he had really great Jazz seat tickets and asked if I would go with him. Again... in true Wendy fashion I forced a smile said, "Suuuure. That sounds like fun"
He was totally stoked about my acceptance.
He proceeded to ask me if I liked pick up lines. I do think that said by the right person and in the right situation, they can be quite entertaining. This I told him.

He dropped me off at my apartment and said he'd be back in 20 minutes.
I jumped into the shower as fast as a I could.
He was early.
He said he'd rather wait for me at my apartment than sit around at his friend's and wait.

The conversation on the way up to Salt Lake consisted of dieting talk, carbohydrate intake, more rebellious times..... and my family. oh baby oh baby. So interesting.
When we got to the game, he was trying really hard to make it a super cool thing.
Apparently, he works there, so he introduced me to all the people he works with. I probably got asked "What is a pretty thing like you doing with THIS guy?" at least 20 times.
I just smiled and let my eyes twinkle.

During the game he was really really loud. People kept turning around giving us looks. I was slightly uncomfortable.
Then it started.....
He said, "Weird, my knee is twitching. Do you feel that?"
I put a finger to his knee and said, "No", very confused.
He said, "Neither do I," and grabbed my hand.
I screamed like that in my head
It took me a good 3 seconds to figure out that it was supposed to be one of those "funny pick up lines". I forced out a laugh and said, "ooooh wooow, that was waaaay smooth. you totally got me!" Then I quickly pulled out my hand and clapped for a miracle basket!

The game finally ended. He said he needed to stop by his house in Sandy to pick up some church clothes, since he was going to go to my church tomorrow instead of his.
As we pulled up he asked, " So have you taken any really fun classes before, just for fun?" I said no because I just always took only the classes I had to take.
He tells me that he took an astronomy class that he really liked.

He said,"Get out of the car, I want to show you something".(AHHHH)
So I get out (AHHHHHHHHHHHH). He stands behind me and points me towards Orion's belt.

He says, "This is Orion's belt. (yeah I'm not dumb) But Orion's belt is part of his whole body. This is his head, these are his legs, and THESE ARE HIS ARMS, AND THEY WRAP AROUND THE BELT." At that intense moment, he wrapped his arms around my waist and put his head on my shoulder and whispered those last fateful words into my ear.

I cringed and screamed inside my head.
Again, I forced a laugh out and told him how smooth he was while I wiggled out of his grasp. He kept very close to me as he told me he'd be right back.
I jumped into the car and frantically texted my best guy friend from home for advice on how to get out! He freaked out at me for being so nice and told me to tell Star Guy that I was really tired.

When we were almost back to my apartment, he told me that the guy from the earlier part of the date wanted us to come and watch a movie at his place. I informed him that I was just pretty darn tired. He quickly began to explain that the guy only lives across the street from me and I don't have to watch the whole thing, and he promises to take me home the second I start to fall asleep.
Trapped in my Wendy condition, I agreed AGAIN. I figured I could get away in like under a half hour.

Inside the house I am surrounded by 4 boys. One of the others scooted too close and started a little flirt talk.
I scooted away, and found myself too close to Star Guy. He kept scooting closer and leaning in even closer than the scooting would allow.
I started out sitting in a comfortable position, but change to the Universal Rejection Position" of my arms folded into my armpits and hands deep inside the sleeves of my sweater. At least I THOUGHT it was universal.

Instead he thought I was cold. He asked me if I was 5 times and then leaned in closer, as if to give me his body heat.

Meanwhile, my bangs had fallen into my eyes. I began to release my sweater held hand from my armpit grasp to swipe away the fallen bangs. My hand made it only half way to my face when it was snatched from the air and pasted to my thigh, strangled by an outside death grip.
My hand still remained inside the protection of my dear sweater (best 40-something dollars I ever spent) except for the tips of my 3 longest fingers. I panicked for a moment, then calmed myself because the situation couldn't get worse. It would all be over soon.

He wouldn't let go. The thumb caressing started, and so did the primary songs in my head.
He started leaning forward to the coffee table in front of us a million times trying to reach his cell phone. He took my whole body with him in this effort not to let go of my hand. (I think I still have a little whiplash).

He started texting on his phone with his free hand.
I thought to myself... "If he texts my phone something, I will freakout!"

He didn't.
He decided to simply just hand me his phone. I carefully leaned over to read the message. (I hope you are sitting right now). This is what it said (seriously):

"Straight up, I really just want to hold you right now. Is that cool or just too soon?"

I am not sure the exact time it took me to stop the heavy dry heaving and then the flow of throwing up inside my mouth, but I finally was able to answer, "Yeah, it's definitely too soon". (Not going to lie, I think I even had forgotten his name around that time. I wasn't about to let a guy I didn't knows name HOLD ME!)

He chose to lay his head on my shoulder instead.

By some grace, there was a funny moment in the movie and I threw my hands up in the air at the humor. My fingers were FREE!!
About that time, I got a text from my roommate:
"Cara! Where are you?! We haven't seen you all day! Are you ok? Do you need an out??!?!?!"
I said,"No I'm fine. I think that I can make my exit in a minute!"

I looked at the time. 2:00... A.M.

My arms returned quickly to their armpit home. He turned and stared at my hidden hands.
A couple minutes later, I forced some yawns out and said I thought it was definitely time for me to go to bed.
He begrudgingly got up and we walked out to his car, and he drove me across the street.
He said, "So I like totally had an awesome time with you today..... and I'd.... Like totally like to take you out again."

I replied,"Oh yeah it was a fun, long day. Well just so you know, I'm going to be really busy for the next few weeks because of the play that I am in."

"Oh yeah, totally. I am going to be pretty busy too."

He walked me to my door. I hugged him quickly in order to not invite anymore touching and lingering.

Once I thought he was out of earshot, I screamed. My roommates were still awake waiting to comfort me.
Thank goodness for roommates!
The clock read 2:23 A.M.
Just shy of 18 hours.
The marathon date.

A few days later. He posted pictures on facebook of his 3 year old daughter.
18 hours.... That is like 3 or 4 dates. You would think that something like that would come up.

I'm 20 years old Mister. I ain't bein no baby mama.



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