Sunday, November 4, 2012

Vomit your life issues all over me

Sometimes I accept the fact that I am a Wendy.

I had been working for a company as a little greeter once a week. This is what my "role" entailed:
I had to get myself all lookin' spicy, and go but the particular soda flavors "the  boss" wanted.  I showed up to large building's small lobby and waited for my absolute jerk of a boss to show up. Then he would walk me through exxactly what he wanted me to say and do.
As young guys walked into the lobby, I was to greet them with " Hi, I am Cara, are you here for Waste your Life Industries ( name changed) ? Great and what is your name? ( at this point I had to check off the name from the list) Then I was to  push the elevator button, instruct them to Go to the 11th floor, exit  the elevator, turn to the right and then there would be someone up there to take them the rest of the way. At that point I had to push the 11th floor button for them and tell them to have a great night.  All with grace, a large perfect smile, and a little bit of flirtation.

Anyways, At this stupid recuruitment meeting for pest control / security sales, There was a guy who was to be the "Special Guest Speaker" we  will call him GUY 
He was very nice and always treated me with a little respect, which is what I definitely was not getting from "the boss (whom I had previously gone out with a few times in the past)". I didn't know much about him.... but I would later find out much much more.

At the casino:  I was out of town with my sister  helping her with a photo shoot in Vegas. We had gone to a casino for dinner. While there I got a facebook friend request.. Which made it much better to stalk him.
There were a lot of pictures of him with some kids. Nieces and nephew???? 

The message:
The following week I went through the whol routine and quickly took off when I was done. I got paid like $20 a night to stand there.... But I didn't ever want to be there over 2 hours.
Soon after I left I got this lovely note in my facebook messages: 
Whats up! :)
Hey I wanted to talk to u after the presentation but u had already taken off. :( I wanted to see if you'd like to go out and do something tonight (see a movie, get some ice-cream or hot chocolate, etc...). Hopefully you get this message in the next little bit. Call or text me at 555-5555

The night:  He was kinda an attractive guy... and I was always open for saying yes to dates with older guys... They have money :)..... USUALLY :(

So I did  tell him he could come over and we would see.  Well this was a great decision on my part.
He was there a very long time.
My best girl friend was my roommate and luckly pretty much had my back that night.
Our conversation included these topics:
He was 36
Just recently devorced.
3 kids --- he loved his kids
Porn addition
Pain killer addiction
Lives with his parents
His Ex- wife was planning on getting remarried already
I was 21.

He just kept talking and talking and talking. I listened. I knew that this was not going anywhere with him. But  more so, I could tell that he just needed a friend. Someone to listen to him.
Around midnight,  my girl told me she needed to go to the store.  GUY asked if he could come along. We say ok... if he drove. 
When we got back, he convinced the two of us to buy gym memebrships from him. Pretty soon after that, I finally conviced him to leave.  Wheww
Night number 2 
The following week I believe, he came back. We reviewed most of this guys issues that he had previously vomited all over my lap.
The highlight of that night however, was him showing me all sorts of videos of draining cycts. That stuff is nasty.  
I could tell that all of my older roommates were getting really sick of him and wanted him to go.
My apartment had a midnight curfew for boys during the week, so one of my roommates decided to tell him that he needed to go and point out that I was breaking curfew. I thanked her for her help wince I really couldn't get him out of there. She was still ticked off at me though.  Most of my roommates thought I was a little bit of a tramp....
 I actually wore make up and went out on a lot of dates, OK?!?!

Well after he left I got this message: Sorry about tonight
Please tell your room mates that I'm sorry. I had no idea about a BYU housing curfew nor did I even realize what time it was. In all honesty my biggest apology should go to you. I'm sure that you were relieved beyond measure that she spoke up when she did so that I would leave. By not planning anything for our date tonight I'm sure it came across as a lack of caring or interest. The sad reality is that I'm a self-admitted social misfit right now. Cara you definitely have a talent in that you just make people around you feel comfortable regardless of who they are or the situation. You are easy to talk to and seemed genuinely interested in whatever I was blathering on about when, let's be honest, you'd have probably rather stuck a knife in your leg. I am carrying a lot of baggage and have self confidence that's been shot to pieces because of everything that I've gone through recently and tonight I took advantage of your good nature. I was awful, inconsiderate, boring company. For this, I'm sorry. I guess that deep down I haven't fully come to terms with the reality of where my life is, and that notion was manifested in full force tonight. The truth is, however, that I really enjoy your company. You are fun, attractive, smart, and a plethora of other positive adjectives. In reality I can be a lot of fun too, even though tonight's events would indicate the complete opposite. I would completely understand if you didn't ever want to go out again (not that what we did tonight could ever be considered as "going out"). I'm not looking to start up or pursue any sort of relationship. Even if I was, I'd be the first to advise you to steer clear of the mangled train wreck that represents me and my life. You have much better options out there as you indeed know. In spite of all of this, you have extended to me your hand in friendship and taken the time to get to know me. Last week when we spent all night talking, I had just come out of the worst few days of my entire life. Without really even knowing me, you displayed true kindness and lent me your ears in a time that I just needed someone to listen. I can't adequately thank you for this. I would like to make tonight up to you and take you on a proper date like you deserve. Something that has been planned and requires effort. I desperately need to surround myself with good friends and I would love for you to be one of them. I've painted a pretty clear picture of all my negative qualities, revealing more than you probably wanted to know. I can say however that I am a good and loyal friend that can be depended on. That is about all I'm really good for at this moment.
I hope you have a good weekend and I'm sorry that because of me it got off to a bad start. If you would like to go to dinner and a movie sometime in the next couple weeks I would love to take you. If not, I completely understand.
I hope to hear back from you.

Kinda heavy huh?? Well I thanked him  for his kind words and told him we could be friends.
I think that I actually didn't end up working for that guy there anymore. We ended up only speaking a few times, and never "went out" again.
I learned something though. I am a Wendy. Sometimes that is a gift.Sometimes people do just need an ear. And it is ok to listen and be that. I learned to set up new boudaries. I knew I couldn't really go out with this guy. So I never did. But I could be he friend from a distance for a little while. And THAT I was.
I think I helped him. I think I showed him  a little light. And THAT is what is great about being a  Wendy.

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